illustrations by Jasper
Even in how he moves on after 25 years of publishing this magazine, Rob Okun is still role modelling.
It was a time before TikTok, a time before widespread social media, a time when social movements seldom made the evening news. But it was a time not that long ago, and — for the state of the men’s pro-feminist movement — a place not that far away. Shira Tarrant was teaching in Baltimore, at a small liberal arts college. She taught in the women’s studies department, helping young undergrads explore gender, sexism, and feminism — deep conversations on ideas this generation was just the latest to inherit. One day, after listening to what they said, Dr. Tarrant wondered aloud to her students, asking a question many might still ask today. “I wonder where all the men are,” she mused aloud, “where are the men who are doing this feminist work?” “Oh,” one of her students said, “that’s my dad!” That’s how Rob Okun first entered the orbit of this gender justice expert, made yet another connection in his long career, and became a gateway for her. “For me, personally, that opened up a lot of connections and new awareness of what was going on, on a national and really a global scale,” Tarrant say. “The work he’s been doing through Voice Male really provided a conduit for those connections, and for people coming together.”
The Radical Role Model
Even nowadays, something Tarrant has her students do is write letters to the editor of Voice Male magazine — letters that would all land on the desk of Rob Okun himself. The magazine — just as it has done for more than three decades — gives each student a new doorway into the men’s pro-feminist movement. Or, to use Okun’s own words — “the greatest social justice movement you’ve never heard of.”
By patiently answering this annual barrage of letters, what Rob did for all these students, says Tarrant, is to give them something they’d never had before. Namely, the opportunity to see themselves in what Voice Male represents, and to discover a movement that has room for them too. It’s hard to overstate the importance of that, she says. “It’s really easy for my male students to feel like they’re not included in feminist activism,” says Tarrant. Maybe it’s the long, misguided history that feminism is just “something women do.” Maybe it’s the growing fear of getting ‘cancelled’, or making an embarrassing misstep. She says it might not have occurred to them that they could be included in and invited to this movement, either. Whatever the reason for young men feeling they don’t have a place in pro-feminism, she says, Rob provided living proof that they belonged. “Role modelling — it sounds so cliché, but it really matters,” says Tarrant. “Him being there provided another generation of students an opportunity to really feel engaged.” Something critical is about to change for the next generation of Voice Male readers. The magazine will still be here. Rob, however, will not be the one making it. For the first time in its history, with the edition you are reading, an issue of Voice Male magazine has been published without Rob Okun at the helm.
He is moving on after 25 years of pouring his time, effort, leadership, skills, and force of will into this magazine. During that time, he gave shape to a movement, and gave voice to what’s been called “the greatest story never told.” True to form, with the way Rob is saying goodbye, he is being a radical role model, and doing something rare. He is passing the torch of his legacy for others to carry on. Rob Okun has quietly and steadily been working to change the world for many years now. His education, as he tells it, was a mix of journalism and activism. As a university student in Washington, D.C. — at the peak of the Vietnam War and in the aftermath of MLK’s assassination — he was a principled, passionate young man. As much as he learned in the classroom, he says he learned more marching down the streets of D.C. He marched for civil rights, the environment, and against the war — but there was still one awareness he was missing.
Chronicling a Movement
Still not quite 20 years old, Rob started to notice how women taking part alongside him in the anti-war movement were getting shunted to the side. This growing discomfort led to a new awareness for him, setting the stage for his later activism in what would become his life’s work. Today, Rob Okun can look back on a career that saw him become a key contributor in building the pro-feminist men’s movement, and a cornerstone of it himself. “Nobody wakes up and says ‘I want to do men’s work,’ or ‘I want to be an anti-sexist, profeminist activist,’” says Rob. More than 30 years ago, he became an early staff member of the Men’s Resource Center for Change (MRC), one of North America’s first men’s centres, and later became its executive director. He has been the editor and publisher of Voice Male magazine since 1998 when he convinced his colleagues at the MRC to let him take their local, black-and-white newsletter and turn it into a full-blown magazine — with a wider reach, broader focus, and a circulation of 10,000 copies. “Voice Male has played this role of being a connector, even before the internet, which is crazy if you think about it,” says Jackson Katz, a longtime leader in the field and masculinities expert in his own right, “to go from being the local newsletter of a local organization to being fully online and available globally — it’s been quite a ride.” Voice Male, he says, became the chronicle of a movement, and its mouthpiece. Starting in the 1970s, alongside the rise of secondwave feminism, small organizations across the United States and Canada began to emerge, consisting of men who acknowledged their role in promoting gender equality. From groups like The Oakland Men’s Project and Manalive in California to the MRC and Katz’s Real Men in the north-east, to RAVEN (Rape and Violence End Now) in St. Louis and the White Ribbon Campaign in Canada, early organizations like these provided a foundation for pro-feminist men’s work long before any sense of cohesion existed. “Rather than just disparate individuals, in different cities, doing work that’s somewhat overlapping, but not more broadly connected,” says Katz, “when Voice Male emerged as a magazine, it helped to build this notion of us being a movement.”
ROB’S RADICAL ACT by GEOFF DAVIES
A Bird with Two Wings
Looking back, it’s easy to take those broader connections for granted. At the time, the schisms might have seemed more real than the synergies. The core tension was between holding men accountable for harm and recognizing their need for understanding and support. On one side, many of the first organizations in the movement were formed around ending violence against women and holding men accountable for harm. On the other side were organizations that focused more on the suffering men experience, and supported them in their healing and personal growth. Whereas you had batterers’ intervention programs on the one hand, you had the mythopoetic movement on the other, with its fabulistic approach.
The position that Voice Male took was radical, because it saw the divide as bridgeable. The vision of radical reconciliation that Voice Male proposed — a vision it inherited from its parent organization, the MRC — was that you didn’t have to choose between helping men who suffer and holding men who cause harm to account. You could do both. “It was the two wings of this ‘bird’ of social change,” says Okun. “We’re not demonizing men — we want to support men to be their best selves — but we also can’t turn away from the fact that men are perpetrating a lot of the violence and problems in the world.”
The Story Won’t Tell Itself
When it comes to Rob Okun’s legacy, the parable that comes to mind for Jackson Katz is David and Goliath. To see how unevenly the decks are stacked, says Katz, simply look at the vast sums of money that influencers like Jordan Peterson or Andrew Tate can command. “It’s unbelievable, the disparity,” says Katz, “here we have Rob trying to raise a few thousand dollars to put together a magazine, and then you have hundreds of millions of dollars aligned on the other side.” Add to that the fact that Voice Male started out in a day when the “reach” of the magazine depended on how many people handed it out from the trunks of their cars. Compare that to today’s digital communications landscape, where word can spread like wildfire. (And that wildfire isn’t always harnessed with the best intentions.) In that context, what’s just as incredible, says Katz, is that Rob did it, and did it for 25 years. “He wasn’t just the editor — he was the publisher, he was the fundraiser, he had his hands all over it,” says Katz, “he would literally be taking people out to lunch to get the money to put together the next issue — and he did it year after year.” In 2014, he published a 400-page anthology of articles, essays and poems from the pages of Voice Male, with a very telling subtitle: The Untold Story of the Pro-Feminist Men’s Movement. “Because we got so little coverage in the mainstream media, and so little attention paid to the fact that they were men doing this work, it was off the radar of the vast majority of people in the world,” says Katz, “and that’s almost true to this day.” So it was — and so it remains — up to the movement to chronicle and share its own story.
This Ongoing History of Pro-feminist Men
Katz can’t believe how often he encounters someone who thinks the idea of profeminist men is somehow new, that it’s simply one of many responses to #MeToo. “People can’t believe that people were talking about this 10 years ago,” says Katz, “and I still have to tell them, ‘No, we were talking about this 30 years ago. People were doing this work 50 years ago.’” Katz points to the MRC — or Men’s Resource Connection, as it was first known — as one group that was particularly ahead of its time. Steven Botkin remembers a much different landscape when he thinks back to the world in which he and others first founded the MRC in Amherst, Mass. “The movement has evolved from these small, isolated pockets of pioneers, to a global secretariat that oversees every single region of the world,” says Botkin, referring to the global MenEngage Alliance. This organizational infrastructure of the pro-feminist men’s movement just didn’t exist for people like Botkin and its early builders. Simply talking about healthy masculinity in the first place and normalizing those conversations was a tremendous accomplishment back then. As the movement grew, those conversations became more nuanced, and those involved started to see their blindspots, too. Today, they range from intersections with race to climate change to the importance of youth leadership. How visible has the pro-feminist men’s movement been through its history? When asked this question, Shira Tarrant just has to laugh. Her answer? Not very. “When it comes to men who are involved and care about these issues, there’s a historical erasure,” says Tarrant. “Each time I teach this, my students are surprised. They think it is something that’s being just slowly addressed today, in 2024, on TikTok.” In fact, she says, men’s engagement in gender justice is a tradition that goes back centuries, let alone decades. She says the willingness to forget this movement and allow it to be erased “undermines the strength of a very ongoing commitment over literally every generation.” What is the state of the pro-feminist men’s movement today? “It’s still in crucial evolution as we speak,” says Tarrant. The pro-feminist men’s movement finds itself at a critical inflection point, and it’s a much bigger transition, she says, than the one taking place at Voice Male. “Masculinity is in between stories right now,” says Jake Stika, Executive Director of Next Gen Men, the non-profit organization that is now leading the publishing of Voice Male magazine. “There’s the old story, and we’re trying to paint a new story. And there are people who want to make that move to the new story — to create it, make it expansive, make it inclusive, make it their own — and there’s those that are really scared of that, and need the comfort of what the old story was, and they’re clinging to it by hook, crook and nail.” The backdrop of this moment is one of rising extreme-right populist movements, the looming U.S. presidential campaign later this year, and the supercharged political polarization taking place around the world. In light of this, what does that mean for the movement’s evolution, and Voice Male’s mission to articulate it? “It does feel urgent. There’s a political fever pitch right now, for a lot of understandable reasons,” says Tarrant. Botkin agrees: “Because of the climate crisis, the challenges to democracy that are emerging, and I think the sense of fear that people are carrying,” he says, “I would say it feels particularly urgent right now.”
“Masculinity is in between stories right now. There’s the old story, and we’re trying to paint a new story.”
Not for the Faint of Heart
Doing feminist and pro-feminist work in the present day — well, it often comes with a cost. “Oh my god, it sucks. It feels dangerous. It feels really fraught. It feels so divisive,” says Tarrant. “I’m thinking of this in relation to Rob’s work, and it’s not for the faint of heart.” People today across society, she says, are digging in their heels like never before. There’s a lack of compassion and a lack of curiosity. “Not that long ago, it felt like the risk of doing this work publicly was from the right [wing],” she says. “Now it feels like the attack is just as likely to come from the right or the left.” Steven Botkin, who co-founded the MRC, where Voice Male was first born, says that part of the legacy of the magazine — and of Rob — is its history of not shying away. “Voice Male sticks its neck out, and Rob does too,” says Botkin. “And when you stick your neck out, you become a more visible target.” The consequences of this can become increasingly scary, he says, in the world we’re living in today. “The piece about youth leadership feels really important to me — maybe more important to me now, because I’m thinking about legacy now more than I was when I was 29,” says Botkin. “Organizing young people right now is kind of central to what we need to do in the movement, more broadly.” To Botkin, and to many in the field, at this moment in history the work they are doing has added importance. For Tarrant, Rob’s legacy with the magazine was his willingness to still wade into tricky conversations — and do so with curiosity and compassion for all sides. This too, she says, is part of his legacy, and part of his role modelling. “This is an important moment for us to be thoughtful about how we’re constructing our political conversations,” she says. “Rob provided a solid foundation for those conversations to continue.”
The Legacy He Leaves
“As opposed to the legendary ideas of ‘the Editor’ as this grizzled, kind of angry, gruff person, Rob is the opposite of that,” says Jackson Katz, who was part of a virtual celebration in honour of Okun’s years of work with Voice Male, and his passing of the torch. “When you hear people talk about Rob, in addition to really respecting him, you hear how he’s such a nice guy. . . . Rob creates goodwill all around him.”
“There are people who want to make that move to the new story — to create it, make it expansive, make it inclusive, make it their own. ... And there’s those that are really scared of that, and need the comfort of what the old story was, and they’re clinging to it by hook, crook and nail.” The online celebration included several dozen of Rob’s friends, family and colleagues from both past and present. As host of the event — the video of which is available online — Steven Botkin spoke to several dozens of people, including the Voice Male staff and advisory board, Rob’s family and friends, and representatives of the Men’s Resource Center, the global MenEngage Alliance, the women’s movement, and the field of men’s studies. “We’re using this opportunity to collectively honour the passing of the torch of our movement to the next generation of activists and organizers,” said Botkin, “and we’re here to witness — and to give our blessings to — the transition of the publishing of Voice Male magazine, from Rob to Next Gen Men.” As a gathering, it was a moment, Botkin explained, to honour both the legacy of those who helped build the movement and those who will continue to build upon what they have done. To mark the passing of that torch, those receiving it were present as well — the team from Next Gen Men, including Executive Director Jake Stika. “I’m a bit starstruck, being on this call,” Stika said, giving shout-outs to some of the movement’s leaders — in gender justice, men’s studies, the women’s movement, and more — who were there. “That’s really what Next Gen Men wants to do with Voice Male magazine moving forward — to honour the legacy of the work of all these people, and many more — and give the next generation a shortcut to access and build on it.”
A Simple, Radical Act
Rob says a lightbulb went off when he first found Next Gen Men (NGM). “I mean, to me, their name said it all,” says Okun. Those who have been doing men’s pro-feminist work for 30 or 40 years aren’t the “next gen” of men, says Okun: they’re the previous one. To him, the fact that NGM has been active in the field for “only” a decade wasn’t a deficit — it was a good thing. “To find an organization like them, with that vision and mission — of ‘present gen’ men working on behalf of the next gen — that was like hitting the jackpot.” Building on the past, or looking to the future? In classic Rob Okun fashion, he doesn’t see that as opposing choices of one or the other — to him, they’re two wings of the same bird. “There’s more road still to pave ahead, but [NGM] would be the first to acknowledge that the path they’re walking has been laid out by others — by ‘previous gen men’, Voice Male included.” Reflecting on Rob’s legacy later on, Stika said for him it was also a personal one. “As a leader, Rob reminds me of who I want to be, and how I want to show up,” Stika says. “He’s just so generous and patient and connective and uplifting. It’s good to see someone who was there in a similar role to the one I’m in, and who came out of that journey being still so generous and kind and patient.”
For Rob, the warm feelings are mutual. It took several years of looking for a new organization to take over the magazine, and several failed attempts to find a good fit. Having watched this struggle to find a Voice Male successor, Shira Tarrant marvelled at how hard it must have been for Rob to even consider passing the torch. There’s all those years of work and time invested, the risk that legacies can always be lost or twisted, and the fact that by now, the magazine has truly been his baby. “I think he is doing something very different,” says Tarrant. “When it comes to feminist activism or gender justice movements, there seems to be very little baton passing that goes on.” Instead, she says, there’s in-fighting, often along generational lines. “He is providing a really thoughtful, powerful model of what can be done.”
What Is Rob Okun’s Legacy?
“There’s so many NGOs and non-profit organizations that have a lifespan, that for whatever reason don’t sustain themselves over the long haul,” Okun says. “In this light, the answer to him is simple. “The legacy is that it has been passed on — I held out the torch and they’re taking it,” he says. “The fact that Voice Male is now being cared for and stewarded by Next Gen Men — that’s my legacy.” B Geoff Davies is a writer based in Vancouver, Canada. A former journalist, he loves to tell the stories of entrepreneurs, innovators, and people making an impact in their communities. To learn more about his feature writing and content marketing work, visit www.DSSIMKTG.com.